Making marriage last is all in the Intention

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No matter how easy it may seem to fall in love, staying in love requires attention and effort. We all start out in marriage bright in hope and full of brimming love. Yet rarely do those wonderful, euphoric experiences of early love persist unabated; for many of us disillusionment creeps its way into our consciousness…

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Deep Impact Conversations

“How was your day?” It’s one of the most common questions couples ask each other and either leads to a dead-end response like, “fine” or “busy” (which usually means “I don’t want to talk about it”), or a long-winded description of meetings, frustrations, errands and other ‘busy’ stuff. It’s what we call a ‘data transfer’…

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The Epic Battle in Every Marriage

If there is one thing that the seasons of Lent and Easter bring into focus, it’s the struggle between good and evil. At its heart, the Easter story is an epic tale of Perfect Love (Jesus Christ) facing down and conquering Evil. It’s not just an historic struggle – it goes on every day in…

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Five Ways to Build Trust

Today we had a meeting. Sigh… The dreaded meeting! Being a couple and working together is complex. We’re both strong-willed and passionate about what we do so it’s easy for us to slip into a mode where we single-mindedly pursue what we believe is the best course of action. It triggers us both for different…

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Gratitude: The Heart-beat of Love

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New research validates age-old wisdom: the simple habit of gratitude can transform a jaded marriage into a joyous encounter. By Marilyn Rodrigues A University of North Carolina study released last month highlighted the association of gratitude with a happy marriage. Cameron Gordon, the study’s lead author, said that the goodwill generated by grateful spouses creates…

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Hear Me, Touch Me, Know Me

In relationships, the word ‘intimacy’ is often used as a euphemism for sex, but this is a very narrow and impoverished view. Some people have suggested that the meaning is better encapsulated through its sounds: “in-to-me-see” better captures the idea that intimacy involves the knowledge of the interior life of each other. In any relationship,…

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Best Lent Ever…For Your Spouse!

Lent as ultimate change maker

While lots of people make resolutions for the New Year, most of these optimistic beginnings fizzle out before the end of January. Thankfully, Lent gives we Christians another, and a better, chance of success. One year, about two decades ago, a close friend of ours shared with us how she decided to give up blame…

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SmartLoving Keys

On a mission to love… Every couple wants to avoid divorce and get along without too many fights. A successful marriage however, is much more than just this; it is a life-long union in which both husband and wife flourish as individuals and enjoy a deep and passionate intimacy. Thinking only in terms of ‘avoiding…

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Making the Wedding Vows Stick

It’s common for married couples celebrating a significant wedding anniversary to have a renewal of vows ceremony. The truth is, most couples in long-lasting marriages are renewing their vows a lot more often. Recently the Weekend Australian Magazine featured a couple who had just married on Bondi Beach. But it wasn’t their first wedding. In…

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Walking the Talk is More Than You Think

This morning a friend from Canberra forwarded us a reflection on walking called: Keep Moving. It noted that walking was good for physical health but that it is also good for spiritual health. It recalled the many stories of the New Testament where Jesus and/or the disciples were walking, not just physically from one place…

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