Know Your Spouse’s Unique Love Profile

Falling in love is a conversion experience. Most of us start out as self-centred individuals and suddenly find ourselves caring more about someone else’s happiness than we do our own. Some of the joy that we associate with being ‘in love’ is really that freedom to be outside of ourselves, caught up in the goodness…

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Marriage Martyrdom

Blood Red In a sea of red, the Cardinals of the Church gathered over the past few weeks to farewell Benedict, elect his successor, and inaugurate Francis. The red of their dress signifies blood, not Christ’s blood, but their blood, that they have proven themselves ready to spill in service of the faith and the…

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Cohabitation Myth

Many dating couples opt to live together before deciding to marry, because they believe that it is a responsible and prudent thing to do. They reason that cohabitating together will be like a trial marriage. They will learn all about each other’s habits and discover whether they are truly compatible. And when they do finally…

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Marrying the ‘Right’ Person

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We came across a really interesting article the other day – You Never Marry the Right Person, By Timothy Keller. The author makes some really great points. Firstly, the Soul Mate thing that is so common among ‘marriage seekers’. We have this belief, that if we can just find our soul mate, that perfectly compatible…

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Two of Us: Fault Finding

On criticizing your spouse Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes so that you can share more fully with your spouse. Prayer: Father, I come to you this day with love and yearning.  I want to be better at our marriage.  I need your help so…

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Two of Us: Topics of Conversation

A couple exercise to examine the patterns of our communication       Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes so that you can share more fully with your spouse. Prayer Father, I thank you for you and I thank you for myself  and I thank you for…

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The Sleep Deprived Marriage

I remember my parents once advising us as newlyweds: ‘Don’t go cheap on your bed! One of the best things you can do for your marriage is make sure you get good sleep.’ At the time, we were rather bemused. However, nineteen years of marriage and five children later let there be no doubt, this…

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The 50-50 Marriage Myth

50-50 Marriage Myth

In our society, a lot people think that marriage is a fifty-fifty arrangement. That we each contribute equally to the relationship. The problem with this kind of thinking, is that it leads us to hold back and to keep score. We fell into this trap earlier in our marriage. When life started to get busy…

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The Art of Seduction

The Post-Marriage Paradox When it comes to winning the affections of a woman, most men think of flowers, jewellery, romantic dinners, and copious amounts of admiring comments about her looks. It works pretty well most of the time… until they get married and start a family. Now, these same gestures can sometimes, to his utter…

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