Relationship Tips
#5 Thoughts Emotions Needs
We’ve already explored how to deepen our communication as a couple but focusing on sharing our interior life, specifically, sharing at the more intimate levels of Emotions and Needs. But how do emotions and needs relate to each other? And importantly, how do our thoughts impact our emotions? In this conversation we’re exploring these nuances…
Read MoreKnowing what to love
You can’t love what you don’t know. This saying has profoundly influenced our marriage and our faith. About once a decade we book tickets to the opera in the expectation of a romantic date night brimming with artistic delight. We have to confess though, we usually come home vaguely disappointed. Not being particularly musical, we…
Read MoreDefiant Hope
Advent is a season of anticipation. The birth of any child, not least the Messiah, gives us cause for hope. Earlier this week, we heard the testimony of Chris and Natalie Stefanick, a couple who had journeyed through dark seasons in their marriage. Having survived sexual abuse as a child, Natalie found she needed many…
Read MoreCommitment
In his book, ‘The Power of Commitment‘, Scott Stanley (USA) provides some very useful insights into the nature of commitment. He identifies two types of relationship commitment: constraints and dedication. Constraint Commitment Constraint commitment refers to the ‘forces’ that resist the separation of a couple even when one or both partners would prefer to leave…
Read MoreMarried Saints: There’s Hope for Us Yet!
As Catholics, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the REALLY holy people are only religious celibates. Afterall, most of the canonized saints were priests or religious sisters and brothers. Think past popes and the founders of religious orders… not many married people among those saints. Being a mere married couple, occupied…
Read MoreThe Growth Mindset
At our daughter’s recent award assembly, the school Principal addressed the topic of ‘Growth Mindset’. She noted how education was more than merely preparing students for exams and aiming for maximum marks on their university entrance ranking. In a country where we have national examinations of all school children every two years from the age…
Read MoreMarriage is not a Partnership
Housework: It’s often a topic of debate among couples, and truth be told, we’ve had our own dramas in this area over the years. We have very different values and expressions when it comes to housework. Byron is particular about floors and will often be found with a broom, mop or vacuum cleaner in hand.…
Read MoreThe Family is Holy Ground
October 7 marks the Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary. How might this feast be relevant to marriage and family life? In 1571, a vast Ottoman navy was poised to invade Europe. The Christian forces had already suffered numerous defeats as the Ottomans expanded across the Mediterranean. Putting his support behind a coalition of…
Read MoreChange Reaction
It’s easy to see how couples get stuck when ‘being right’ has become a habit. Clinging to our ‘right to be right’ is like gangrene in a relationship….
Read MoreMarriage Lessons from a Dog Trainer
A few months ago, our young Australian Shepherd went to doggie boot camp. Over five weeks she was trained by professional dog-handlers to walk calmly, socialise nicely and keep her focus under the pressure of distractions. Video footage taken by the trainers proved she was capable. What really remained was the question: can her owners be similarly trained? When the time came to…
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